I hate to admit it, but I'm a f**k up. Every time I do something I f**k some part of it up.
Example:
I bought the wife a really expensive $$$$ watch, but instead of getting the watch sized in the shop I said "I'll do it"... I made a little tool using a micro screw driver, but I hit the pin too hard and broke the bracelet.
When I bought my car the 1st wax, I managed to get some freakin sand on the buffing cloth and guess what...
Or just last Friday, I got caught riding my bike in the rain and I decided to take the windscreen off to dry/clean the instrument panel... guess what the screen slipped out of my hand and BOUNCED off the damn garage floor causing scratches and dents to the Eur 399 + 55 shipping PLASTIC screen.
Or when I put up a bicycle rack in the plaster board garage... I tested it, and it held but the next day I found the bicycle on my car... you really don't want to know how much damage it did.
I'm sure I can't be the only one; go on get it off your chest.
I hear you brother. I was in the roof, saw a brick just lying there,, WTF is that doing there? So I pulled and levered it until a seriously large section of the ceiling came out with it!
"Hi darling, just seeing what this brick is for" I said to the eyes looking up at me.
"It appears it was used to plaster up a hole in the ceiling" 
No not so much me..but my better half..YES
But I just smile, because no matter how carefull he is
he still stuffs it up...I give him every encouragement
in what he does, hoping one day it will work out alright
You can't say nothing as the look on his face say's it all.
I got him an underwater scooter and he had it all of a day
and broke the plastic lug that holds the front part down.
So he has never used it yet. and I could go on.
He does try so hard too
Just had one today. Out windsurfing with the GPS and it ran out of power after about 15 minutes.
This morning - small cut shaving. So I covered it with a tissue and waited until the cut had dried. Then put white shirt on, checked out all OK. Quick look before heading out the door and blood all over the collar. Iron another shirt, soak the other and miss two trains... 
Get to work and have left phone at home
Reversing brand new car - with a reverse camera and sensors - hit a stationary skip bin.
Wife and daughter know when to laugh and when to wait for about 5 minutes before laughing.
Heaps of others, but they are the most recent...
Too many to mention for me as well, I've a history of driving an hour to a shop without my wallet, forgetting my phone and wearing my jumpers/t-shirts inside out.
My gf doesn't help though, she tends to lay "traps" around the house for me. e.g. she used her expensive piggy bank as a door stop only for me to accidentally kick it and break it about 5 minutes later as I walked into the room.
These days I don't buy any expensive watches, phones, sunglasses or wallets because I know I lose/break the expensive ones!
you just made me feel so much better...
My current method is to keep any 'works in progress' secret until they are finished, cause if anyone knows I am making something, it is bound to get broken or not get finished for years.
I will go along for ages with out destroying anything then BAM! weeks of f*ckups to fix.
Ding repairs are the worst if I get bothered while doing it.
I think the term for people like that is "Sexy Fingers"
cos eveything you touch ends up fk'ed
15 years old in secocondary school i did food + nutrition as one of my subjects.
first dish we made was a salad, next week it was potato soup.
20 minutes into boiling the potatoes,someone lifted the lid of my pot,i had forgot to add the potatoes. i was boiling only stock.
forgetting to check my downloads has cost me $150 + $110 in last 2 years.
numerous car accidents,all my fault.
walking through a glass sliding door that i thought was open.
leaving my car parked on a downslope [to go buy a newspaper] i returned to find an asian family holding it back from running down onto i think it was william street in north perth.
another time parked car on driveway in bullcreek, heard screaming,ran outside to find my car across other side of parry avenue. lucky no damage.
i do remember my female driving instructor tell me after my last lesson,that i would kill myself on the road.
starting to get wise with age.
got staples/stiches 6 times (all of them on my face or head), broke front tooth 3 times before graduating high school. now everything i eat tastes like chocolate.
All my projects end up well ... but there's almost always some butchery involved. Some kind of stripped screw or having to rework stuff to get a smooth finish or mega sanding to get off excess, or dicking around with pliers and chisels and stuff.
I recently paid a professional to do some work and got mega-ripped off. His quote was very expensive so I expected a first class job. The result was adequate, at best.
I re-did a fair amount of what he did and things were proceeding nicely, until the usual glitch arose.
Another way to look at this is in the nature of stupidity. We all do dumb things. We all make mistakes. All pub conversation is about dumb stuff we do, or dumb stuff that other people do, particularly related to drivers, politicians, bureaucrats, etc.
The question is, are all these dumb things just the accumulation of each person's quota of occasional dumb things? That is, most people are good and reasonable and quite bright but collectively a lot of dumbness happens. Or are some people just perpetually stupid?
Most of us laugh at bogans. Do over achievers think the rest of us are cretins? Do bogans laugh at other bogans?
Had an "issue" last weekend that made me think of this thread.
My front passenger seat in our new car was missing 1 bolt that held it down, so I thought I'd put it in myself.
Now, being cunning, I planned to do it whilst visiting the in-laws, giving me an excuse to run down to Bunnings with my brother-in-law and escape for a bit.
Planned First step- Remove one of the other bolts so we can figure out the size needed.
Actual First step - Borrow Father-in-laws socket wrench, snap it in half on the first bolt.
Actual Second step Using a spanner instead, shear the bolt half way in the thread of the seat, so now we have half a bolt stuck.
Planned Third step Remove seat totally so we can drill out the bolt
Actual Third step Shear off another bolt, this time leaving 1cm of bolt in the floor of the car.
At this point we called it quits and got some beers instead.
I took the car into the garage and it cost me $100 for them to drill out the bolts and put some more in.
$100 + the cost of replacing a snapped socket wrench to add one bolt to my car!
My most recent f-ck up will cost me $600 insurance excess after i attempted to reverse the box trailer out of the driveway using the reversing camera on the ford territory i suddenly lost sight of the boxy when it jackknifed and did the rear quarter panel in . I could list so many more from my Do it once do it right catalogue but i dont have time . WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU PRESS THE CAPS LOCK ON THE KEYBOARD AND FORGET TO REPRESS THE KEY ONLY TO LOOK UP AND REALISE WHAT YOUVE DONE F-CK
Yep....
car overheted and when i got it home finally i decided to take of one of the coolant lines and pump water through it to stop things from melting.(as it was nealry on fire.
remove a oil line insted and pumped motor full of water.
started it up this morning replacing oil and coolant and the engine FAILED to move...
im due for a new car .............
im looking at hail damaged cars but the looking at the ahg site price of them dsent seem to have dropped that much .. does anyone know if i cashed out a hail damaged written off.can i insure it 3rd party? still
i want somthn written off that looks like a golfball that has under 50 000 kms.
i will just place a picture of a windsurfer on the back windscreen. Im only gona fork the interier up with salt water sand and trash it.
there is auctions but im not sure if written of car can be reinsured third party?
im not taking out a loan so fully comprehencive dossent apply.
Got out of the car in a hurry, slammed the door, somehow on my thumb. The worst part was I locked my keys in the car as well. I was pinned to the car, thumb jammed in the door on a busy road, half laughing half crying. Dumbest thing I've done
its not often I read something on the internet that makes me feel better about myself......this thread sure does that.
The simple answer YES,
latest; working on the van with NFI and the manuals i have are in Japanese.
My question is was i born a ****ed up or have i worked at it my whole life to get to this stage?
