Well it goes like this my wife reversing the 4wd suzuki out and the 10 year old german shepard is sitting in the driveway. My wife reverses over the shepards tail who lets out an almighty howl. So my wife panics and hits the brakes and parks right on the dogs tail. The shepard is doing an impression of a puppeteer on speed. So I yell out keep reversing so she can free the dogs tail. She reverses an inch the dogs tail is partial free. So like an idiot without a thought about the loose nut behind the wheel I reach down and try to free the dogs tail. Wait a minute is that the transmission being engaged again. Before I can yell out she has driven the car forward again pinning both myself and the dog under the rear wheel by hand and tail. The duet puppet show has comenced.! The dogs howling I am yelling reverse Mums gone completely off the planet as I could hear high pitch shrieks coming from out of the front window with the sound of the transmission being changed from forward to reverse repeatedly. When my sweet 16 year old daughter leans through the window and Tells mum TO F&*King snap out of it and F*&King REVERSE. MUm reverses duo in distress are free. hand looks like a pizza, dogs tail could never be again used as a straight edge. Two saving factors I wasnt wearing my wedding ring and my wife never checks her tire pressures. Plus as a finale my wife does the woman thing gets out and kicks the dog and abuses me because this is out fault apparently. My wife has heard me swear before so she heard nothing new for the next five minutes.
Gee 16 and you only heard her sware for the first time .Mine made a much earlier start and have had a severe case of potty mouth since the beginning of high school .They have no problem telling each other to f off,stfu , and occasionally tell me and my wife to stfu etc . My wife has a policy of the path of least resistance and rarely argues with them or disciplines them .I just block my ears and have another glass of wine.
Video or it didn't happen !!!!!
You need to reenact it for funniest home videos.....
UH NO
Video or it didn't happen !!!!!
I was loading the car and told the dog to jump in. As usual, he was in no hurry and leisurely jumped onto the back seat and started to look for the optimum place to sit. Being in a bit of a hurry, as soon as he was in the door I shoved it to close the door...
It slammed shut and all you could see was about an inch of brown tail sticking out!
Next thing and the cabin erupted in howling and carrying on while the dog was trying to run as fast as he could to get away from the pain but remained in position. It looked like he was on an excercise machine but with a look of utter desperation and confusion while the whole time the little brown inch of tail was twitching in the door...
Anyway, I quickly opened the door and free'd his poor tail and now when ever he jumps into the car, he almost lands arse first to make sure it doesn't get caught again...
No human hands were harmed in the making of this story.....
It sort of explains why it's always the dog or the horse or Skippy in the movies that runs for help while the woman stands there and freaks out.
Your daughter sounds kind of cool. Keeps her head in a crisis. What's her phone number? 
I thought you said your daughters number was 16?
you can call her on 1800-GOTO-JAIL
You made my belly hurt pueter, best laugh I've had in a while.
Can't believe she kicked the dog! She owes him a smacko and you an apology
Great story.
My daughter is 6.
On the way to school this morning we are singing Rhyming songs kind of like Dr Seuss.
She says 'Oh Mr Duck, Mr Duck you are a naughty F^&*'. I try not to laugh and look at her, she says I'm sorry Dad, that's a bad word. I tell her it is not nice to say those things and if she did at school there would be trouble.
My wife calls me at 10am. She is in trouble for saying the duck word in class.......
quacked me up 
I have a particular way of saying "AAAaahh JEEESuss" when I spit the dummy
My four year old looks at his dinner one night and says "AAAaahh JEEESuss" - exactly the same intonation as me. I stare at the wife, she glares back 
, the seconds go by in silence.
Wee lad pipes up and says "lots and lots of CHEEESes" and tucks into some of the cheese he got for dinner.
Damn women drivers. A bloke would have just reversed OR driven forward a good metre, so they know it is clear. Why get flustered and go back n forth while stressing? Fk me...
Anyway, my almost 3 y/o daughter has a thing for saying "doodle" this and "doodle" that. All of a sudden fascinated with doodles. 
So I hear her friend tell her tonight "no, you say penis". I told her off as usual for all the doodle talk and she says .... "daddy can I say peanuts?"
Lol
