Stories

I've got two.

Driving on a road trip in the 70's. Pulled into a beach car park about 7:00 to check out the surf. A caravan is parked there. I walk past and go check out the waves.
When I get back there's an old guy standing naked in the doorway of the caravan with a shotgun. His missus is in one of those quilty dressing gowns looking past him.

He tells me to get away from my car and goes over and checks it out. He looks in the back and sees surfing an camping gear and figures I am a surfer and camper. He tells me I am clear to go and I jump in the car and piss off. Obviously paranoid grey nomads too cheap to pay for caravan parks but scared of people raping and murdering them.




Rocked up to the doctor for my very first prostate exam. The usual doctor isn't there. I get called from the waiting room and the doctor is a young blonde hottie named Amanda, wearing a green mini skirt, fishnet stockings and stilettos. She tells me to drop my pants and jump up on the table. Whooosh!!!! Pants off I'm there. The prostate exam sort of hurt ... but I didn't mind that much.

To cut a long story short-
Working night shift at Observation City a few years ago, I had to superglue the zipper on a rather well endowed young ladies rubbery/latexy cat suit, as the zip had torn away from the rubbery fabric stuff.
She was supposed to be surprising her hubby who was staying at the hotel as part of some type of trade display convention.

We were both giggling like a couple of school kids cause she had to squeeze her boobs in so I could get one of my hands inside the suit to hold the fabric together while I put the superglue on (while thinking to myself that superglue dries too fast

nearly stuck myself to her bumpybits, would have been a bit awkward if hubby had walked in........

stephen

True this one,few years back down the river at Applecross got talking to this ex-pro English female windsurfer.

Following day i had to pick-up something from a friends unit block in Vic.Park.

I had the unit number of his block written down,but i disregarded the number when i noticed his small hatchback parked in a carport next to a unit.

Before i knocked at door,heard the noise of two women and kids speaking,thought that's a bit strange.

When she opened the door.....my first reaction was i felt like a prowler/stalker....hers was probably the same...it was the girl i'd been talking to about 18 hours earlier!

Turns out the car parked in her drive-way was identical in colour and model to the old guys living few units further up.

Got a letter in the mail to head to the Perth Chest Clinic for xray because someone in one of my tutorials at Uni had got Tuberculosis, so anyone that had gone near him / her had to get a chest xray.

So armed with the letter, I headed down Murray Street in Perth until I got to the entrance for the infectious diseases clinic - so went through the door marked Male.

Got in and plenty of sheepish looking blokes in the waiting room. Went up to reception, said why I was there and showed them letter.

Nurse at reception grinned and pointed out that I'd walked into the VD clinic, chest clinic across the road and three doors down.

We do scrap metal and car removal for a living.
Around 2 years ago, we got a call to remove a toyota seca from a property,
The owners were working, so we arranged to have the key left in the ignition,
And for us to leave the payment in the meter box,
I programmed the navman (lovely piece of crap) and headed of,
Apon entering the street, my navman said I was at my destination,
Looking down the drive I spotted the old toyota seca,
Using a 3 ton crane truck,
I strapped the car through the windows and lifted it onto the truck,
Damaging the roof by lifting it this way, and putting the payment in the meterbox
I was very happy with myself for a job done well, As I reversed out and proceeded of down the street,
It was a crescent, and as I rounded the first bend, There was another toyota seca sitting on the side of the road,
It was in poor condition with flat tyres and no number plates,
I figured while I was out here I may as well make an enquiry about it,
Apon knocking on the front door,
A nice young lady answered with some keys in her hand,
And asked If I was there to pick the car up,
Checking my jobs book , I came to the realisation that I was now at the right address,
And had removed the first car from the wrong house, (never trust a navman)
Suffice to say, we contacted the owners of the wrong car,
Luckily, being intelligent people, they understood what had happened
and we came to a monetary agreement over this mishap,
They were also intelligent enough to ask for twice what the car was worth
An expensive lesson that could have been much worse, luckily it was only a cheap bomb