If the ABC was Relevant (Part 44)
(a John Clarke, Bryan Dawes skit) - (The Customer)
[Scene: A car yard. BRYAN is perusing the stock.
He is approached by JOHN]
John: Morning! Looking for a new car?
Bryan: Nope. Prime Minister, actually.
John: You're the third one this morning. Anything in mind?
Bryan: You know....... nothing fancy, reliable, economical family model. Something to get the country from A to B.
John: You mean like a Howard?
Bryan: Yeah....a little Johnny. Nothing flash, does the job. Low maintenance, economical, sensible. Runs for years, no troubles.
John: So.... you used to have one?
Bryan: Yeah. About 10 years. Great little model – don't know why I got rid of him --biggest mistake I've ever made…
John: What happened?
Bryan: Traded him in for a Kevin 07.
John: Big mistake…
Bryan: Lot of people bought it. Good political mileage.
John: How was the Kevin 07?
Bryan: Came with a $900 factory rebate – that was good.
John: Anything else?
Bryan: Not much. Sounded nice but nothing under the bonnet. It was a lemon.
John: Didn't stick around for long did it?
Bryan: Nah – had a factory recall. Shipped overseas and was never seen again.
John: What was the problem?
Bryan: Lots. But the final straw was the navigation system. Plug it in and it automatically loses its own way.
John: Whatcha got now?
Bryan: It's a Gillard-Brown.
John: The hybrid?
Bryan: Yeah. The Eco-drive system – not a good idea. An engine that can't deliver hooked up to a transmission stuck in permanent reverse…
John: Green paintwork with a red interior. And steering that always lurches to the left for no apparent reason – that's the one?
Bryan: The Fustercluck model.
John: The only one they made, Bryan. Not the vehicle of choice for the road to recovery – but did they finish up fixing the navigation system?
Bryan: Made it worse. Turn it on and it does a press release, heads off in all directions and goes nowhere.
John: So that's why you're here?
Bryan: That's right. I'm stuck with a government that's wasteful, expensive, ineffective and past its use by date. I don't suppose you've heard of the “Cash for Clunkers” scheme?
John: Join the queue brother.
Cleverest comment I ever heard - think it was The Chaser - said "Kevin 07 became Interest Rate 08"
the dream, of a change of thinking in Australia is fast becoming a scary reality, we need a leader of substance and strength, right now we have leaders in both sides, devoid of those principles worth voting for, a compromise will probably do
looks like the next election will be sadly like the last one. if the other side get in it will be the same s###house, just a different door
Hmmm, all the models seem to be not up to the job. They are either face of the same coin of regulation, taxation, spending and control.
FFS it's a criminal act in this country to grow certain plants. People from 100 years ago would have thought that to be a joke.
I agree, the message he sends, is what I would call a well considered and balanced view, which on the World stage, present Australia as more sophisticated in its portrayal of Local and World affairs rather than what we have at present, a catch /grab [both sides] short term thinking, divisive red neck backwater portrayed, we deserve better
