The Squirrel and The Grasshopper
THE REST OF THE WORLD VERSION
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END
________________________________________
AND NOW, THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.
The ABC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.
The Australian press informs people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.
The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Housing Commission of Australia demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.
The ABC, interrupting a cultural festival special from St Kilda with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing 'We Shall Overcome'.
Bill Shorten rants in an interview with Laurie Oakes that the squirrel got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his 'fair share' and increases the charge for squirrels to enter Melbourne city centre.
In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders,
for the work he was doing on his home, and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.
The grasshopper is provided with a Housing Commission house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The squirrel's food is seized and re-distributed to the more needy members of society - in this case the grasshopper.
Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home.
The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Australia as they had to share their country of origin with mice.
On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Australians' apparent love of dogs.
The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody.
Initial moves to make then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice.
The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from people's credit cards.
A “60 Minutes” special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the Housing Commission house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it. He is shown to be taking drugs.
Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshopper's drug 'Illness'.
The cats seek recompense in the Australian courts for their treatment since arrival in Australia.
The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him.
Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.
A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost $10 million and state the obvious, is set up.
Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers.
Legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased.
The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Australia's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.
The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose.
The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison.
They call for the resignation of a minister.
The cats are paid $1 million each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in Australia.
The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order, and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds.
THE END
Interestingly, the UK party spells it "Labour" and the Australian party spells it "Labor"
Go figure...
Great stuff GGF....can i point out one small thing? [}:)] may I? 
I think the social worker should be edited to [ the tick ] 
God went to the Arabs and said, 'I have Commandments for you that will make
your lives better.'
The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?'
And the Lord said, 'They are rules for living.'
'Can you give us an example?'
'Thou shall not kill.'
'Not kill? We're not interested..'
So He went to the Blacks and said, 'I have Commandments.'
The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, 'Honour thy Father and
Mother.'
'Father? We don't even know who our fathers are. We're not interested.'
Then He went to the Mexicans and said, 'I have Commandments.'
The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said 'Thou shall not steal.'
'Not steal? We're not interested.'
Then He went to the French and said, 'I have Commandments.'
The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, 'Thou shall not commit
adultery.'
'Sacre blue!!! Not commit adultery? We're not interested.'
Finally, He went to the Jews and said, 'I have Commandments.'
'Commandments?' They said, 'How much are they?'
'They're free.'
'We'll take 10.'
There, that should offend just about everybody!!!!!! 
Via email, I didnt wright this
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
There you go ggf, the suicide prevention helpline. Give em a ring. They are trained to listen to that jaundiced trope.
They will empathise, and you never know, they might just cheer you up.
I think you are reading some things into my post that I did not say or mean.
When I said:-
"The Australian/American Alliance goes back a long way and is rooted in the common interests of common people, not military types or politicians."
Read it literally. I am referring to cultural similarities and other common interests, not 'Official Agreements'.
Vale, Gus Mercurio, a great American who became a great Australian who passed away a few days ago.
Edit:- I believe today's Labor is just a shadow of it's former self and high ideals.
We are all in a room with four walls,
a floor,
a ceiling and no windows or doors.
The room is furnished and some of us are sitting comfortably,
others are most definitely not.
The walls are advancing inwards gradually,
sometimes slower,
sometimes faster,
making us all the more uncomfortable,
advancing towards us all the time,
threatening to crush us all to death.
There are discussions within the room, but they are mostly about how to arrange the furniture.
People do not seem to see the walls advancing.
From time to time there are elections about how to place the furniture.
These elections are not unimportant: They make some some people more comfortable, others less so; they may even affect the speed at which the walls are moving, but they do nothing to stop their relentless advance.
As the walls grow closer, people react in different ways. Some refuse absolutely to see the advance of the walls, shutting themselves tightly into a world of disney and defending with determination the chairs they are sitting on.
Some see and denounce the movement of the walls, build a party with a radical program and look forward to a day in the future when there will be no walls.
Others - and I among them - run to the walls and try desperately to find cracks, or faults beneath the surface, or to create cracks or faults in the surface by banging on the walls.
This looking for and creation of cracks is a practical-theoretical activity, a throwing ourselves against the walls and also standing back to try and see cracks in the surface.
The two activities are complementary: Theory makes little sense unless it is understood as part of the desperate effort to find a way out, to create cracks that defy the apperently unstoppable advance of capital, of the walls that are pushing us to our destruction.
(John Holloway,Change the World Without Taking Power)
Doc
I just had a real anxious moment until I checked my walls and they are not moving.
Phew!
And the Canadian version:
www.joe-ks.com/archives_jun2004/Ant_Grasshopper.htm
The American version:
www.joe-ks.com/archives_jun2004/Ant_Grasshopper.htm (same page)
The New Zealand version:
www.yobbo.co.nz/The%20squirrel%20&%20the%20Grasshopper.htm
It turns out it's actually originally from ancient Greece, 600BC
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ant_and_the_Grasshopper
Go figure 
