What do Tiger Woods and a seal pup have in common? They both get clubbed by Norwegians
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards
someone do better please!
Ping just offered Tiger Woods' wife an endorsement contract pushing her own set of drivers. They'll be named Elin Woods..."the clubs you can beat Tiger with."
Tiger woods now has 9 girls on his list . When asked if he was trying for 18 holes he replied - " No , I just turn em over for the back nine" 
Tiger's lost his sex appeal. In a survey in LA recently, 6000 women were asked if they'd sleep with Tiger. 82% responded not again.
Tiger has many delivery's of the sausage....trophy's
I am not keeping score ......BUT, I wonder when the first Male
will put up his hand, as a co sausage deliverer to Tigers little hot spot[}:)]
That will also sell some books and there could be a few million separation fee
It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her
grades. There is really nothing to do. All the kids are restless because
there is nothing to do and it is near the end of the day.
The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and
correctly
can leave early today." Little Johnny says to himself, "Good, I want to
get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question".
The teacher asked, "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?" Before
Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, "Abraham Lincoln". The teacher
said, "That's right Susie. You can go". Johnny was MAD. Susie answered
first.
The teacher asked, "Who said, 'I Have a Dream'?" Before Johnny could open
his mouth, Mary said, "Martin Luther King". The teacher said, "That's
right Mary. You can go". Johnny was even MADDER than before. Mary
answered first.
The teacher asked, "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for
you'?"
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Nancy said, "John Kennedy". The
teacher said, "That's right Nancy. You can go". Johnny was BOILING MAD.
Nancy answered first.
Then the teacher turned her back, and Johnny said, "I wish these b@tches
would keep their mouths shut".
The teacher asked, "WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny said, "TIGER WOODS! CAN I GO NOW?"
