Wiping out your internet history

We got this new boss last week.

What a frick'n nightmare. To cut a longer story short, after I met her, I told her to go f' herself and had no interest in working with her. I quit like a boss. The email I sent her was hilarious.

So now that excitement is over I've found myself back on the scrap heap.

The reality is I've got to get my CV together again and go through the motions of getting another job. I hate twitter, facebook, linked in and the social media that all those muppets subscribe to. But I have got entries there from some years back that I want to wipe out. Cause that's not where I'm at now.

Obviously, when you go for a job now the first thing these 'tards do is type your name into frick'n google. I want that old crap gone and replace it with some sort of fake blog that tells prospective employers how f'ckn enthusiastic I am about working for them.

I have some bad news for you adolf. Your seedy internet history will follow you for the rest of your life like a tatto emblazoned on your sorry ass.
It's a message that needs to be drummed into the younger generation, that what you post on the internet now, can turn around and bite you on the bum in later life when it just looks plain puerile.
There is no reset key, no pause key, no delete key, no escape key.

Welcome to the 21st century.

You are right. When those social media thingos first came around, probably only 4 or 5 years ago I subscribed to learn about it, and would tweet and fb stupid stuff that was on my mind. I got bored with it pretty quickly and quit - the problem is that it hangs around and comes up in search engines. I just typed my name into google and there it was - all this old irrelevant stuff. I'd love to remove it and put up something else that presents a new enthusiastic version of me.

Trying to get rid of the Adult Friend Finder profile eh?

Get married, so you will have new surname
Everything possible this days.

adult freindfinder hahah what about ALT the harder version

cant you just delete profiles /close the accounts? That would stop most info from a cursory search. I dont think anyone will bother with one of those locked in history type searches.

I would love to be able to "quit like a boss"

.What did the chick do?

Post your letter Adolf. Sounds like we would have a good laugh!!

Facebook - you can lock down the Security Setting, so only friends can see it.
Linked In - you should be able to edit that so you look like an enthusiastic angel.
Twitter - ditto, I'm sure you can lock it down... Maybe even just delete your profile?

My best advice is to edit your Linked In Profile, and CV, and direct the muppets there.

I think it's Captain Cook when he first came ashore in Autralia.
He meant to bring some Jack Daniels to appease the natives but due to memory problems he ended up bringing his Jack Russel.
I think that's what it is.

Helidog ?

Yes, change name and all that good stuff. Call yourself something unique, like Fred Knaublok. Or common, like John Smith. That'll throw them off.
Or get married and change name, but don't forget the prenup!

A new-hiree research firm I use was saying there are specialised crawlers in that field for FB, that keep history and cache for a long time even if you disable your account now. Donno if it's true.

Also, for specialised fields such as engineering, tech & accounting: word of mouth sorta works. When I get a real bad dude, which I'm sure you ain't, I make sure I informally give the person the publicity he/she deserves when I go at events, etc.

Good luck!

Nah changed my mind. Make it "Mohammed Weinstein" and tell them on the application that you are a female aboriginal lesbian.
You'll get any job you want as they'll be sh!tscared of saying no.