Richiefish
you are very correct in your irrationial fear of "Shart"
Often you do not know where they are from, or where they are going.
Here is one that aleast helps understand the dreaded Bollwood shart and it origins
Shart: The Challenge is a 2004 Bollywood film written & directed by Puri Jagannadh. This film stars Tusshar Kapoor, Gracy Singh, Amrita Arora, and Anupam Kher. It's a remake of his telugu blockbuster, Badri.
Karan (Tusshar Kapoor) has a habit of involving himself in all types of challenges. While Karan and Sonam (Gracy Singh) go about singing and dancing, there comes a moment when an argument develops between them regarding love. Sonam believes in love at first sight while Karan opposes that theory vehemently, stating that love at first sight is nothing but mere infatuation
Few...know we can sail in peace knowing the dreaded Bollywood "Shart" is nothing but a toothless remake ...phew...
HOWEVER... there are more feared species of the SHART that demand more attention and true understanding of the personal injury that can occur from contact with the dreaded SHART
SHART
A cross between farting and dropping a load in your pants. Typically of a runny consistency. There are 5 species of Sharts. Also known as a Foop.
Cat 1) Wet Sensation
Cat 2) Wet Underwear
Cat 3) Soak thru to inside of pants
Cat 4) Soak thru pants (Visible to general public)
Cat 5) Runs down to socks. (Oh my god, run for your life)
Anything of Category 4 or higher require showers. The lesser species can be dealt with using alternative cleansing methods.
Following is an extract from a survivior of a SHART attack...read the real life encounter...
On the way back from lunch yesterday I noticed Art was having a hard time making it up the stairs. As we reached the pinnacle of the staircase Art looked to me and said "You gotta cover for me, I just Sharted". He then wiggled out of the building and drove home for a shower.
Runs down to socks. (Oh my god, run for your life)
I saw this happen to a friend of mine, he called us over cause he thought bali belly had gone , and he had a nice fart worked up,,,,, boy was he wrong ,. To this day it was the funniest thing I have ever seen ,couldnt get off the ground from laughter for about 3 minutes. Wish I had it on video!
Been pretty lucky not having experienced a shart before.....but I have experienced a few 'SNARTs'
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Snart
snart
when one farts and sneezes at the same time, regardless of which causes which
Patti just snarted!
I don't think fear of sharts is irrational. That's why there's no such term as shartiphobe or shartiphobic. I looked in all the usual places and its not there, so the danger of sharts must be REAL.
Don't take this lightly people.
Oh God! What is it that turns men into 5 year old boys at the mention of poo?
Sorry, but I have never been able to understand what makes otherwise perfectly normal heterosexual men obsessed with their arseholes, how they work and what comes out of them !
That'l learn her good. 
You are on the bus when you suddenly realise... you need to fart.
The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat.
After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.
As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and that's when you remember:
you've been listening to your iPod
Very mature everyone. Oh btw have a laugh at these hahahahttp://www.fart-sounds.net/fart_sound_board.htm
www.fart-sounds.net/fart_sound_board_2.htm
to avoid confronting a shart while on the water, (this is a great hint) wear a wetsuit UNDER your boardshorts !!!! huh ? huh ?
(maybe this is the answer to THE question, why do kiters etc etc )
