I need a new pair of pants after this one.
Mowing the grass about 100m offshore today at my home break, first NE of the season and getting used to a new kite. Tacking upwind heel side on my light grey 5'10 surfboard, i suddenly felt a massive impact under the board and it flew into the air, followed by a large fish of undetermined species about 2m long. The shark turned in the air away from me in the air and disappeared back under the water with a thrash of it's tail. My board was now 10m away having flipped and blown downwind. Then followed the LONGEST BODYDRAG of my life, though it can't have been longer than a few seconds straight downwind. Thinking back now I remember hearing a loud prolonged squealing which must have been me. A bit like my chihuahua being chased by a Rottweiler.
I got back on my board like the water was boiling hot lava and I reckon I may have broken Alex Cairzeurges(sp?) speed record getting back to shore switch foot.
Brought back down to earth by the local crew... One said "oh yeah, I saw it a few minutes before" another "yeah I hit something going out the break" and a windsurfer who said he saw it half hour later on a long tack out the back... I am now enjoying a cold beer, and wiggling all 20 of my fingers and toes that are *thank god* still there 
So! What's the forecast for next week?!
Edit: lol red thumbs. Love it! For some reason I still feel ok about sharks. I mean, he probably thought my board was a tasty big grey fish. He didn't come back to bite me, which was good. No harm no foul.
Be glad you're not this guy:
www.seabreeze.com.au/forums/Surfing/Shortboards/Any-info-on-the-shark-attack-at-bunker-bay/
... I had a brush with a small 6' tiger shark a while back but luckily all I did was clip its tail as it took off. Actually, I too think I heard that chihuahua squeal thing happen, must be something the shark does hey!!!! 
A friend recently had a close encounter with a hammer head where he had to body drag back to his board, same thing, did it faster than that French speed guy. I reckon he too heard that chihuahua!!! 
cheers,
Robbie
dude i got chills reading that... nice post glad to hear your still kickin bring on those Nor Easters!!
Haha Puetz, that's my theory re: the squealing, though unfortunately I heard the same ungodly noise once when wrangling a fairly small bush spider out of my kitchen. I suppose i really AM a girl after all 
Thats one hell of a storey you will be able to tell for the rest of your life, not many of us will have one like it
and i bet it gets better every time you tell it
The board I was sailing was my big board (250cm), and the man in the grey suit was shorter then my board, but longer then 2m.
Spotted him charging some fish just behind the second sand bank, so still not a long way out. After hearing what you told me when I was going in, and then seeing him so frisky with my own eyes on the second run out I decided the wind really wasn't that good after all, despite the float in my boat
Forecast looks good for Tuesday arvo....
Firstly, I'm upset you got a kitable Nor Easter and we got onshore slop.
Secondly, I'm wondering if the colour of your board has anything to do with the attack.
Thirdly, how fortunate the board ended up downwind, imagine doing an upwind drag in that situation.
Adam! Good on ya mate! nothing like a bit of verification on an "it was THIS big" story.
@ Joe Cron... Yep we had a cracker yesterday too though I watched it from my office window... it's on again today and I came in at 6am so I can leave early this arvo :).
I was wondering the same thing about maybe painting the bottom of the board pink or yellow or something. Or with a big pair of eyes someone suggested. Does this work?
I don't want to think about the board having been upwind! Geez... nope.
From memory it is the same yellow they use on lifejackets!!! 
I reckon I could make one outside human hearing range
It sound like the shark had a go at you - or did you just hit it? Any bites of teeth in the board? Sounds like a too-close encounter and you were lucky to survive.
And here I was thinking that a kitesurfer up and going would be too hard for a shark to get!
They could of course get you more easily when you slow for for a direction change.
No bites in my board, it was more like an impact directly from below coming straight up, maybe a test bump? being a surfboard it was pretty flat in the water, was obviously not holding much of an edge lol the board is a light epoxy and my weight was leaning back to cut up wind, so the board flew straight up in the air and i just fell back in the water. The shark followed the board out of the water though so it must have hit it reasonably hard? then it disappeared.
Apparently a blue shark can swim at 40km per hour and the fastest shark, a Mako, can swim up to 74kms per hr for a short period chasing prey.
From the web (Reef Quest Centre for Shark Research): Current consensus among shark scientists is that the top swimming speed of the Great White is at least 25 miles (40 kilometres) per hour. My own rough, back-of-the-envelope-type calculations — using several methods — suggest that the White Shark may achieve burst speeds of 35 miles (56 kilometres) per hour or more. That may not seem very speedy, but it's seven times faster than the finest Olympic swimmer and probably at least ten times faster than you or I could manage.
... just remembered my close enounter of a different kind but similar...
years ago when I was a poley, I was sailing at our local break on my 9'6" slalom board doing mach 9 past a rocky point. With no warning I hit something so hard, I got flung forward and kart-wheeled about 20 foot away.
Confused, I furiously looked around. Nothing. The strange thing was there was no bang, or noise that I was all too familar with when hitting a rock with my 15" fin.
What the f#ck did I just hit. Swam back to the board still furiously looking around.
It was next day that I discovered what it was, I hit a huge Dugong.
Two days later it ended up on the beach, dead. It didn't go to waste by the way, some local countrymen harvested the fins and tail (they are the only ones allowed too by the way)
If only I'd seen it, I would have tried to take evasive action.
Hitting big things is possible I surpose, but less likely with our smaller fined kiteboards.
cheers for now,
Robbie
I can certainly vouch for the types of colours they like, riding my lunacy in Shark Bay and Exmouth which has a fluoro yellow/green bottom, the little sharks go crazy. Its like running into a wooden log when they go have a go at it, which is quite often incidently. They seem to be harmless little things though only a metre or so long which the local guys were calling Nervous Whalers??
Not sure what the big ones like though, fortunately it hasnt atrracted any of those yet!
geez Puetz that would have been like hitting a brick wall those things are massive. Poor fella though, minding his own business, eating some sea grass, then WHAM! Not your fault though obviously !
Not your fault though obviously !
I'm still really sorry about it. next day. Lucky the body ended up on the beach at high tide mark. If it ended up bobbing around it may have attracted our other mates in grey suits. 
Haha tightlines, I'll pay that. Saga ends now cos I went back out today (albeit briefly) without incident. But I'm sure in ten years I'll be telling the tale of that 4m great white that nearly swallowed me whole
... man I seem to attract some animals. Just today I was flying along, cruising on my Sector 60, out the back and I bloody well clipped a big sting ray (it looked like a manta ray but it was grey in colour with white underside). It was ironic 'cause I was thinking about my hitting the dugong memory and WTF I clipped the ray. It wouldn't have happen on my twintip but on the Sector with deep fins.
cheers for now,
Robbie
I had a similar encounter many years ago off nobbies .A very long body drag back to my board (even tho it was only about 2 metres) .
A bigger danger lurks off our shores in newcastle tho .Against doctors advice i went out when the NE rs were on .Apareently Burwood sewerage plant broke down on the weekend .i saw or heard no warnings but aparrently it did happen (I do remember driving up from redhead to nobbies and saw a disgusting brown streak in the water come to think of it)off Burwodd. My wound got infected and i now have a weird rash on my gut.hopefully all will return to normal soon
Ez, I'm coming up this weekend. Wish I hadn't read that.
Bit of an incentive to learn to jybe.
If the the wind was on tomorrow was going to head out solo but me thinks having a few more people ie a 'menu' would be preferable.
Dave
I don't get it.....was it a shark???????????????????? Or a ****ing dolphin??????.......Jeeeezuz!
Send us a message if you're gonna go I will come down after work.
Hey Mike,
I'd like to think it was a wayward dolphin playfully headbutting my board... admittedly I didn't see it's teeth (i don't think i ever would have forgot that lol)... but from the shape of it's tail I know it had to be some kind of shark. I don't know much about sharks apart from the basics, I just remember it was grey with a white belly. Looking at photos of sharks online i guess maybe a bull shark, not striped like a tiger, but I couldnt say for sure.
Oh my dear GOD.....and I started kitesurfing so I don't have to take any risks with sharks. Cause.....you know....you are on the board, not in the water....but, that goes down the drain alright. :(
glad to hear you got away.
