Along the shoreline, the little trainer kite whipped across the heavens like a bumble-bee on speed. It whizzed through the wind-window at full throttle painting figure-8's in the sky. A collection of looping brushstrokes crafted upon blue canvas. The soft toy slammed hard into the body of a kitesurfer who was just about to launch a real kite. It was a crude blow that hit below the harness-belt. A pillow-fight ending with a fluffy punch to the groin. Bent over, gasping for air and hanging off the ropes -- the little trainer had been k.o.'d. The diminutive featherweight was down for the count.
"What the heck!" said the startled kiter. He adjusted his wetsuit around the crotch region and then fixed his hair.
"Sorry about that," she called out apologetically.
Dude (well known kiter and local shredder) disregarded the learner's poor flying skills. He karate-kicked the toy kite downwind only to see it instantly self-launch in the strong breeze.
"Thanks mate," shouted the learner from the crest of a sand dune. Her tiny bikinis perfectly revealed her tanned, athletic body. She raised the control-bar in a friendly salute with one outstretched arm. Her freehand awkwardly tugged at her bikini top -- a motion that was almost the same as a guy adjusting his junk downstairs; an unconscious act presumably to find a more comfortable fit. The expert kiter was yet to master the art of reading body language.
Dude slowly regained his composure, focused on the job at hand and braced himself for an assisted launch from his good friend, Man. Candice happily carried on kite flying; jabbing the trainer with a left and a right, a right and a left. She was a beautiful pest, a regular nuisance at the beach -- but no one ever complained. Meanwhile, Man stood in readiness to launch the kite, waiting patiently for the command to release.
He squinted down the four lines that stretched 25 metres back to the control-bar, watching intently for a big 'thumbs-up' from Dude. This was sign language for launch-me-now-please. The other relevant hand signals that Man insisted upon when helping a kiter were taps on the head from the rider when wanting a landing -- and a slice across the throat with the edge of the hand when the rider wanted to abort a launch. Understanding these gestures was an important responsibility since launching and landing were always risky events where accidents frequently happened. But as fate would have it, communications were destined to fail. As she sent the trainer into more crazy loops, Candice would find herself witnessing an unfortunate incident.
Apparently Man mistook Dude's frantic hand gestures for a thumbs-up, the all-clear signal -- and was mislead into tossing the kite up into the strong wind. Like most bad launches, the kite drifted backwards for a time and then positioned itself for an evil looking hot-launch. Dude attempted to correct the mistake by steering the kite up too quickly which resulted in a sketchy semi-stall. Suddenly, the kite looped three times and the kiter was yarded across the hard packed sand. The kite ripped from trailing edge to leading edge and Dude crashed face-first causing blood to stream from both nostrils.
With a sense of urgency, Candice dashed onto the scene and comforted the victim. He squatted low on his haunches like a defeated prize-fighter vanquished to his corner. Sporting two black eyes with heavy beard stubble, Dude's face was now taking on a raccoon-like appearance. She covered the furry creature with a cool, damp beach-towel. The darkened headspace temporarily calmed the wounded animal within.
"Dude, you look like you just boxed fifteen rounds," commented his best friend.
"Wow Man, you owe me a new kite," said the blood-stained towel.
"What? You gave me the thumbs-up champ. I was only obeying your instructions," replied his sparring partner.
Dude understood that Man was only trying to help him out. But he also believed that when you launched a kite for somebody, you took full responsibility because the rider had absolutely no say over when the kite was actually released. When you self-launched, you had more command of the situation. But when you got assisted with launching, you surrendered that control.
"Thumbs-up not! I was gesturing and pointing to a suspicious line twist at your end. I needed your verification," explained the injured rider. Dude knew that when he assisted somebody himself, he always checked that the lines were safe before releasing.
"I've seen some tossers in my time -- some good ones and some bad. You failed to look at my lines before you tossed it," blamed the rider.
"And you failed to do a pre-flight check," replied the accused.
Man knew all about pre-flight checks. He had learnt the procedure in his very first kite lesson from a mate. This was back in the day when mates taught mates, well before kite schools became popular. During that lesson, he learnt how to rig up a kite making sure the connections were correct. And after attaching all the lines, he was shown how to check his work.
"Dude, you rigged up wrongly. That's why the kite psycho-looped after I tossed it up."
Suddenly Candice felt ill. But she wasn't sick from the sight of blood. It was more from a twinge of guilt which made her nauseated in the pit of her gut. She thought back to when Dude had rigged up his kite -- and how she had been standing beside him making small talk while he fussed and fumbled with the kite lines. The attractive girl admitted to herself that she had been flirting with the kiter at the time. While he connected his lines, she had felt his eyes mentally undressing her. She had enjoyed the sensation, loved the attention, had encouraged it more and more.
Now she feared he had been distracted from his task and had made a critical mistake with rigging up. Ordinarily this error would have been revealed during the pre-flight check which every kiter undertakes prior to launching. It was a standard check to see if any of the lines were twisted over and crossed up. However, Dude had been in a hurry so he had dispensed with the procedure. There were ripable waves to be ridden and he was keen to get his fair share. Dude removed the bloody towel from his bruised face and looked deeply into the dreamy eyes of Candice.
"Whose fault was it, Candy?" he asked seeking a third-party opinion. She was momentarily taken aback by his probing question.
"Had he just read my mind?" she suddenly thought. "Chill out boys, there's no one to blame here," she answered diplomatically.
"It was simply an accident. Do what I do, she advised. "Always self-launch."
it's obvious dude and man are super gay for each other, so there is no way dude got distracted by a bikinni chick....
so what your saying is you claim it was only 60% your fault you mucked up your launch
I kind of remember a similar thread started from rsc or something.
You would hate our 5 second rule when launching some ones kite
Mind you I can never tell if your dude or man
Nah, go back to your conversation format, too many words, stopped reading it after a short time.
Nice work Wave Slave.
I think the message here is regardless off if you are a noob or experienced Kiter, always remember the basics. Double check your lines are connected correctly and there are no signs of wear.
I had to help out 4 people myself who I was about to assist in the launch of an incorrectly rigged kite the other day. Takes less time to do a quick check before asking for a launch.
After "He adjusted his wetsuit around the crotch region and then fixed his hair" I nodded and then stopped reading.
What happened in the end?
Did Rapunzel-Man let down his hair so Dude could climb into his castle and they had "relations" and lived happily ever after?
Maybe Man left a trail of Rohypnol-tainted breadcrumbs that Dude could follow to Man's boudoir and then "things" happened?
Or maybe if this is to help noobs understand a valuable lesson it could be condensed into 3 lines so they might read it?
Candice was torn by guilt. She had been flirting with dude - he was a handsome guy. And know he lay there with blood streaming down his face.
You poor poor guy. Let's get you cleaned up. She leant over him to shield his face from the sun and began to dab at his wounds with a hanky.
As she was tending to his wounds she couldn't help noticing dude checking out her cleavage as she was bending over. Normally she would stand up and cover herself in embarrasment, but this was hardly the time to worry about that. A wry smile spread across her lips. Dude seemed to be transfixed. He obviously liked what he saw. 'Oh well at least it's taking his mind off the pain' she thought to herself.
Once she had cleaned up his wounds she helped him to his feet. He was obviously slightly concussed.
"you're in no state to drive. Give your keys to man - he can drop your car home after his session. I'll drive you home now. Dude just mumbled something inchoherent.
On the way home dude started to brighten up. Perhaps it was the maccas they got at the drive through, or perhaps the concussion was gone. But it was undeniable there was some real chemistry between them. Candice couldn't help herself, she kept looking across at dudes arms and imagined them wrapped around her, his warm breath on her neck. Her breathing had shortened, and her face had become flushed. Her headlights had switched to high beam..Suddenly they had arrived. But it was her house. Why had she driven to her house? Dude asked. Candice new why. And dude was about to find out....
The throbbing at the back of hishead was thefrst thing dude noticed as he shook off the stars that danced around his head....
The second thing he noticed was the naked light bulb that threw a pale shadowed light down onto him....
The third thing ne noticed was that he was somehow stuck in the bottom of avery deep hole....
Then he heard what he came to know as 'the voice'
It puts the lotion on its skin'... camethe command
It puts the lotion on its skin...
I love dude and man, I always imagine them as The Dude and John Goodman's character in the big lebowski, love your work!! This episode almost got a bit Home and Away though! Definitely prefer the conversation between the two, it felt weird that Dude and Man weren't immersed in an argument... But keep up the good work it's good **.
I like Dude and Man the long version. With everyone adding a line or two to the story..
