Hi, I'm a kitesurfing pump and I can talk and type words on the keyboard too.
I'm so happy now cause I've got a new hose sticking out of my head.
My owner went to Bunnings and bought some really cool stuff.
Today he finally did a mod on me.
The old hose had bits of tape covering the holes that leaked air.
It was the standard tube that you find on all brands of pumps.
You know, that piece-of-sh1t, cheap-arse, crinkle-cut, black tubing that splits and crunches up real easy.
I'm never going to let my owner down ever again.
lol.
While your safety leash sits in the bottom of your closet crying to its self not undrstanding why you hate him so much.
Aaahmm
Kitesurfing pump 
You gotta ditch that bloke
he has another hose that he likes pumpin more than you 
but dont worry, that one only lasts 1 minute then deflates too
You gotta ditch that bloke
