Working up at North before air-con came into fashon for work utes. Anyway Head Engineer who was a bit of an A-hole brings his ute in for service. Big lazy bugger in our team , "I'll do this one" he reckons.
Few days later the Engineer is back, whinging about a horrid smell comming into the cab. Same bloke reckons "I'll take another look" an sorts it out. Engineer comes in a day or so later going off big time, the stink is worse. Same guy looks at it again, two days later same problem
and this goes on a few more times, until I pulled the big fulla up and asked him what's the go, you keep working on the bosses ute, you going for brownie points or what.?
He cracks up, then takes me outside and shows me his handywork. He was crapping in the front hubcaps
and soon as the vents were opened, and brakes applied, you can imagine the rest.
Never did tell the Engineer what the problem was
Before I start sorry to all the cat lovers,
It starts like this , it was a Saturday afternoon when I was living at Christmas Island, I went to my brothers house for a beer or 6 ( we did this often , and even on saturdays!!) My bro and one of his mates were sitting on deck chairs in the back yard ,beers in hand Fishing rods in pvc holders , lines out , facing the jungle!!!, I had no idea what the .... they were doing?
The cruel b&rst&ds had cast out a mulie and were waiting for a hit!!!!?????
On what I asked , oohh just wait and see.
Bloody idiots!, they were cat fishing , trying to get rid of a few ferals.
I left without seeing the end result, which failed buy the way .
Strange , but at the same as time it was discusting, I couldn't stop laughing when I left.
I once tried to smuggle some pot into Bali by hiding it some dumb chicks boogie board bag.
Not sure what happend to it though??Waited all night at the bali hotel she was booked into but she never showed up???
I guess she found it,sold it all and is now really rich,living the high life without a care in the world.
Glad I got that off my chest.
But
I dont think I will tell you about the time I was in the states and was spotting planes with my laser and they hit some buildings and some terriorists got blamed and their country got invaded by the USA.
OOOOPPPPPPPSSSSSSS.
In home ec we were told to bring in our own cake mixes to class, GREAT. Then half way through mixing we found out they were all to be used for a teachers meeting
.
My cooking partner and I decided our fruit cake was lacking something so we added pepper, curry powder and half a cup of dried blowflies from off the window sills (they realy should have kept the portables cleaner). We also made a hollow banana cake
.
To my ex, just to let you know that the only woman I slept with was you, never slept with your sister .... we were too busy those nights to sleep! And yes I agree with you she has smaller boobs than you but she is soooooooooo much more fun![}:)][}:)][}:)]
Pfffffffffff now I feel so much better!
Dropped something at work today[}:)]
workmate walked past minutes later ,,,
must have had hooks on it ,,
he was well away when it got him 
made his eyes water,,,
as Bart said - I Didn;t Do It
Few years ago was going in a lift to level 9 to pickup basement keys, alone in the car, on the way up dropped a massive silent one that burnt my bum, smell was as bad as when something has been dead on the road side for a week, left the lift, got my keys, back to lift, same car comes and stop, door open 2 blokes in it looking like typical top of feeding ladder executives, smell is still as bad as when I left. I look at them straight in the eyes and make a disgusted grin was sooooooooooo funy to see the face of shame on them I nearly busted to laugh!
My best ever fart!
