A brother in law left at home alone for the week, drank all his survival money on his first night of temporary bachelor freedom. by weeks end he was eating stale bread peanut butter and chicken salt sangas.
on the bbq,
buttered and toasted turkish bun, char grilled bacon, aioli, banana and about a liter of mandy juice...yeah.
Malt Loaf (an English heavy fruit bread now available in Woolies) no butter, seville orange or lime marmalade.
sardines a la pomodore on dry roasted leavened bread
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This extraordinary recipe is a staple in our household on a Saturday morning, and once tasted is not easily forgotten.
Step 1. Take two slices of white bread and stick them in the toaster.
Step 2. Remove the 2 slices of burnt toast, turn the toaster down and put two more slices in
Step 3. Take a tin of sardines in tomato sauce and open using the little key provided on the tin
Step 4. Stop swearing, there are kids in the house.
Step 5. Throw the key away and try opening the can with a proper can opener.
Step 6. Band aid.
Step 7. take the now cold toast and slather with enough butter to give Elvis a heart attack.
Step 8. Using a fork mash the sardines and tomato sauce to a paste on the toast.
Step 9. Season with sea salt and cracked black pepper like a wannabe chef you poncey wanker you.
Step 10. Sit on the lounge and watch cartoons with the kids while you eat your culinary masterpiece.
Step 11. Do fish burps for the rest of the day.
Enjoy! You can thank me later.
For when annoying relatives turn up unannounced MEOW and you need MEOW to whip up a quick snack.
Loaf of MEOW Unsliced White MEOW bread
Small can of Kitty MEOW Kat (preferably the variety with liver as it allegedly tastes more like MEOW pate')
If you don't like cats (who does) subsistute for My Dog Gourmet Treat
Tobasco Sauce (Red or Green will suffice)
Grated Cheese
Sprigs of Parsley*
Cut MEOW bread into thick slices
Grill bread on one side until it is golden MEOW brown
Remove crusts with a sharp knife
Check and make sure MEOW cat or WOOF dog is outside
Spread Kitty Kat on untoasted side of bread
Sprinkle Tobasco MEOW sauce over Kitty Kat
Sprinkle with grated cheese MEOW
Cut bread into triangles
Grill until cheese is bubbling*
Serve and await the faltering compliments or requests to use the toilet
Enjoy peace and quiet for MEOW next 12 months
*Optional Garnish with MEOW Sprig of Parsley
Don't ask me what compelled me to try this old teenage favourite out this morning - but i did and surprisingly still enjoyed it...
Polony on Vegemite toast (Devon or Fritz or whatever you east coasters call that knob of mystery meat).
Best with lots of butter and a decent spread of vegemite.
