I have something really bad on my buttocks like 3 inches from my spot X (not ball bag side)but in the c"rack". I had to jam a pillow under my recliner seat to make it comfortable to sit down.;-( 
Is there a cure or is it a trip to the doctor. The pressure seems to be building its pretty uncomfortable.
Im scared of going to the doctor ;-( seems so embarrassing but a common problem),
My guess is your brains had enough and is taking the quickest most direct root out....
Who would have thunk...
Busterwa brain was really just a boil in his butt...
Wait a minute....
that makes perfect sense....
Well you could,
sit for a while in a really hot bath
Light a few matches
Throw them in a glass milk bottle
Stick the mouth of the bottle over your boil
Let the vaccuum pressure suck the puss out of your boil
Or replace the glass milk bottle and matches with mark_australia
Whats MArk goin to do with a half a milk glass of wavelslaves?
Its really painful hey.
Busta....make sure that it is not a pionalitic synus [spelling] this is a bad one
that needs surgery, as the sac that contains the muck MUST be exsized from
the bum shute, then a new bum shaper must be made as your arse cheeks
could fall down and trip you. GO SEE YOUR DOCTOR!!. common problem
among truckys and I found out yesterday that a nurses daughter in year 12
had one also. the operation is a bit like museling sheep and you don't hear
them complain. 
smile busta smile. A boil may be Your assesment
and that could be entirely wrong....best o luck
Guy walking with a cane toad on his head, other guy ask wtf? Not sure, started as a boil in my arse crack replies the toad!
sounds like a pilonidal sinus
they usually need surgical drainage
day case operation, nothing major
see your doctor
oh and they are associated with hairy cracks.
Buster you must have a hairy crack!
Yes bustarse sorry busterwa def sounds like cyst which is an ingrown hair they will need to excise a core hole to extract it and then it will have to be repacked everyday its amazing how much gauze they can fit sometimes a metre or so its also amazing how a baritone can become a falsetto while this repacking is carried out do you sit for long periods of time you may want to purchase an inflatable donut cushion now hope this has rested your mind
All jokes aside Buster I am in the middle of a nursing degree at the moment and have just referred to one of my textbooks this is what you need to do
PERIANAL, RECTAL AND PILONIDAL
Anus and rectum
The main symptom in perianal septic conditions is throbbing, anal pain with or without fever.
Part the buttocks to inspect the perianal region, the natal cleft and the anal margin. A tightly closed anus suggests spasm, due to a painful anal condition. Palpate any lesions in this area.
Slowly introduce a lubricated, gloved finger into the anus with the palmar surface turned posteriorly. Palpate the posterior anal wall and any anal contents against the curve of the sacrum. Rotate the finger anteriorly to detect any bulge or tenderness suggestive of a pelvic abscess (Figure 5.49).
GEEEEEEEEZUS! One little bit of nipple and a thread gets locked but Busters busted arse crack is kosher?
Give me boobs.
done!!
I went to the doctor and got some antibiotics. I must of rang up about 4 surgeries and they were all booked. Doctors seem busy cause its flu season.
Cysts and abscesses (I'll use the medical term for boils) are both lumps or masses which may occur almost anywhere in the body or on the skin. Cysts may become abscesses. The basic distinction between the two is that an abscess is by definition a localized bacterial infection, whereas a cyst is an uninfected, fluid-filled mass.
They recommend not squeezing or touching them as the bacteria can spread into other follicles etc.
If we're going to help you buster the question that needs to be answered here is - are you now or have you ever been a cane toad?
ED Doctor here..
go see your doctor, might just need a needle in it, or a cross incision with a knife. Or it may be a pilonidal, if it's in the midline that'd be my bet. That will be not so much fun!
I like the bottle idea though!
you need to find yourself a boil sucker ! ...But seriously, to prevent more of them from popping up after that one is killed, multivitamins !!!
