The astonishing on water performance of the Redneck full slalom machine appeared a mystery ......
.....until designer, Cleitus Buttcheeks, took time out to put in simple terms,
"The Redneck Speed Special owes everything to the constant refinements we make each year based on rider feedback, which then gets plugged straight into our CAD program.
The new Redneck full wood sandwich design with its remarkably unique speed shape has clocked incredible speeds at lower winds than its rivals. Again based on maximum efficiency principles, the squared-out tail shape is wider than the norm yet the max width at 46.5cm is narrower. This unique approach to speed board design gives a lower and therefore more efficient angle of attack to the wetted surface area, as well as more power, more tail stability and control. Tail side-cuts with wingers have been discontinued from last years model as they proved superflous now, given the new improved release and fin drive created by positioning the chair a further 5cm aft."
- It comes highly recommended in this test edition, the problem will be getting your hands on one.
Sure she's small, but 3 things:
1. she's made of recycled components,
2. I like the challenge of handling a big swell on her,
3. At 82L, fat people can't steal her 
"The water's risin, now I jerst got to git muhself another duck, two donkeys, two elephants, two giraffes..."
Old Cletus has gone a tad quiet so I'm gunna call it. It was a three horse race with De Vecta's timely "Captian Emad", Bondalucci's detailed on-water performance description, and Chris6791 for the Noah's Ark refference. Drum roll...
I have to give it to Chris6791 as I like the idea of a redneck actually trying to save all the animals, not "choot 'em".
Is this history in the making??????????
Has a kiter ever had this honour before ??????
is a serious question 
I better put on a suit of armour, or learn how to windsurf 
if I hang around here too much!
Thanks Phil, give me a day or two to find something.
