Woke this morning with a sore neck , pillow may be a a tad soft
coffee was slightly cold
waves were a little choppy
^^^ bit like me
Was going to the gym about 5km away to get on the treadmill but my car wouldn't start
Select to expand quoteMark _australia said..
^^^ bit like me
Was going to the gym about 5km away to get on the treadmill but my car wouldn't start
Why would you need to go to the gym Mark ??
You are already the envy of most of us mere mortals without a body that's a temple 
much like our offspring.........
Sandwichmaker insists he is driven to the gym, and he gets a lift back with mates parents as he might be too worn out to get there/ back.
Then brags about how many k's on the pretend bike and treadmill and how much weight he lifts etc.
meanwhile his pushy rusts away on the back verandah- and it takes a cattle prod to make him lift a finger around the house
stephen
Sometimes there's no coopers sparkling ale left at the bottle shop, so I have to settle for pale ale instead. 
Since the GFC things are so tight at our place we have to buy champagne by the case
to keep costs down
Not sure if I should retire at 55 (next year), 60 or wait until the kids leave home in 30 years.....
Select to expand quoteboofy said..
My finger keeps going through our toilet paper
Eat more cheese!
Select to expand quotedorothyinste said..<span>boofy s<span id="dtx-highlighting-item" dtx-highlight-backgroundcolor="cyan">a</span>id..</span><span><span>
My finger keeps going through our toilet p<span id="dtx-highlighting-item" dtx-highlight-backgroundcolor="cyan">a</span>per</span>
E<span id="dtx-highlighting-item" dtx-highlight-backgroundcolor="cyan">a</span>t more cheese!</span>
I kinda like it
I went to a shop the other day, they wouldn't take a card, no EFTPOS!
I had walk back around the corner to an ATM to get cash!
Ruined my day
Some idiot in front of me hesitated for about a second before pulling away from the stop sign 
I forgot to hang my wetty up inside - I doubt that it will be completely dry from yesterday's sesh by the time I finish work early today and put it on again.
Select to expand quoteevlPanda said..
Fleshlight is too small.
That comes from drying latex in a microwave, it shrinks...
Select to expand quoteStubbies said..evlPanda said..
Fleshlight is too small.
That comes from drying latex in a microwave, it shrinks...
simply shim with a few fingers. Just like real life! (edit...ohh u meant fleshlight too small)
And my first world problem is soo many barristas want to put water on top of my long black shot.. IT RUINS THE CREMA U FTARDS. Put it on the bottom.
Select to expand quoteSupersonic27 said...
I went to a shop the other day, they wouldn't take a card, no EFTPOS!
I had walk back around the corner to an ATM to get cash!
Ruined my day
Had something similar happen to me at the local chinese take-a-way a few years ago. My order came to $29 and the young chick behind the counter said that the minimum amount they would take for using a credit card was $30. I said taht we were talking about $1 here. She said I could make another purchase or I could go to the ATM around the corner and get the cash. I politely took my credit card back .......................... and kept going!
Made my day!!
Went on holiday for a week and forgot my toothbrush charger.
Toothbrush went flat with two days left and I had to manually shake my tootbrush around in my mouth.
Worst holiday ever.
Select to expand quoteseafever17 said..
Went on holiday for a week and forgot my toothbrush charger.
Toothbrush went flat with two days left and I had to manually shake my tootbrush around in my mouth.
Worst holiday ever.
My kids loved this one..
Bloody retards post comments on the funny images thread without posting an image ffs
Couldn't decide what Rolex I wanted to wear when I was shotgunning champagne on the ski slopes today :-(
I just googled 'fleshlight' to find out wtf you're talking about...you guys need help!
Now I have to clear my google search history so my wife doesn't confront me with this.
what about debt that farked up most of the 1 world countries ? no problemo ?
looks like most of ppl in oz don't consider big mortgages as debt because "everybody have 'em".
they think that only the credit cards should be payed back
