Scene
Dropping the bride off at the railway station with our two young (4 & 6) children - doing a big farewell as its the first time mum will be away for more than a couple of days (she's off bushwalking with the girls for a week and a bit).
The train is sitting on the platform and has another ten minutes before it departs. A guy who's standing in the doorway of the train yelling at people to get on and telling the station attendent to get the train going.
I endured this for 20 seconds trying to sum up wether he is joking - but clearly he is not - but no one, including station attendant appears to say boo to him.
I tell him the train isnt leaving for another 10 minutes, to watch his language (there was a stream of f's) and that he's best to calm down (yeh i know I am just as silly as him for that one).
He mutters something under his breath returns to his seat - our friend who is already on the waiting train then comes down and says this guy has been at it for 10 minutes abusing probably 50 or more persons.
Result - 1. Bride and her companions have a trouble free trip to Sydney (2 HRS) with old mate saying nothing the whole time. 2, Big discussion with our back seat drivers on the way home about standing up for yourself and others when you think something is wrong
I then engaged the rail staff as to why this guy was not taken off the train. Understandably they do not want the hassle, they are under resourced etc etc
The I wondered about the other people who were subjected to his behaviour.
Where they all too PC to tell him to shut up (politely but assertively)?
Do we live in a society where people fear speaking assertively (not aggresively) in such a situation?
Footnote - both my bride and her friend are mental health professionals -with over 40 years combined clinical experience - and they too remained silent
i've stepped in a few times over the years with different things. not always the most intelegent thing to do. but sometimes it needs to be done. people should stand up for what they believe in and help other out.
last time was when i happened to witness a domestic violence situation unfolding in a car in a back street. i was walking from the bakery back to my car when i spyed what was going on.
there was a lot of anger from the bloke. i decided to just make my presence felt rather than directly get involved as i didn't want to inlame the situation. i kept thinking if it was my daughter or friend i'd hope someone else tried to make a difference.
You get a green thumb for correct use of the word "persons". Very rare to see it done well 
Also the NSW/Sydney train culture is a bit different to elsewhere... I doubt you'd ever see that amount of reticence in 'stepping up' in, say, Brisbane or Perth.
But well done in bucking the trend. The poor guy probably just didn't understand why the train wasn't moving, and why no-one would listen to him...
In that situation everyone should have told him to shut the Farkup, i see it all too often on the news innocent bystanders getting involved and end up with a blade in their guts,if your confident with your fighting abilities then go for it otherwise call the police.
i went for a late night pizza last month in Gosnells fri night 3am.
the Indian owner had a massive black eye.
at around 9 o'clock he heard a fight outside on Albany Hwy, about 40 metres from shop.
around 30 young guys beating nearly to death a 35y old.
the 4 staff ran outside to stop the beating ,the owner got hit with a piece of steel in the eye,suffered no permanent damage.
the kids ran away,the police not charging anyone.
a few years ago, i left my car parked at Mcdonalds Vic.Park
on returning after midnight, my car window was smashed in and contents spread everywhere.
a large group of 20/30 kids were hanging out on the road next to Mcdonalds where i had parked.
it was pretty obvious what had happened.
on driving away, i sped up,crossed the other side of road, put horn on and scared them bigtime. [my comeback]
i drove away fast.
standing up for yourself is ok ,if you are sure you can get away unharmed.
cereal killers eat my cornflakes. EDIT: beaten to it:)
PS seems to me that the wisest decision in this situation was made by the mental health professionals with 40 years combined experience.
heat of the moment isn't an ideal time to set someone straight, or teach them a lesson. Seems to me that you and your families safety would be best served by avoiding, de escalating or not escalating the situation and then talking with the kids later to explain why you chose the safest path.
I really don't think you are 'standing up for yourself' if you addressed this situation by confronting the dude. Your morals and beliefs tell you what the guy is doing is wrong, and its likely that you are really 'standing up' for these beliefs. So standing up to the guy may end in you having to become involved in violence which to most people is worse than verbal abuse. Best way to stand up for your beliefs imo is to model them, not try impose them on others.
i'm sure people all had different reasons for not responding. Keep in mind that there are plenty of times where even speaking very calmly and politely (let alone assertively) can actually very quickly escalate a situation.
IMO, best time to speak your mind and be assertive is when its not likely to end in endangering someones personal safety.
Glad it worked out ok for ya.
Up untill approx mmmmmm...I think 10 years ago...maybe 8
(Sh@te memory 
)
I have never failed to stand up for myself..
but now...I won't and have said to my better half...
Please don't, I want you alive, I matter and he matters in my world
it's been to awful over the last amount of years with people doing the right thing and ending up dead.
But ever incident we see, I suppose you will always weight it up
and our instincts to help will always be there.
Ben 555....This man is mentally ill and your bride and friend I feel did the right thing
as they were in an open area with only words to so call fight of a man with mental illness that did not want their help..
)
Why don't people step up?
A soldier got slashed in the face by some dickhead with a box cutter. A fit, strong man with military training was defenceless against a **** with a knife.
www.abc.net.au/news/2010-06-08/iraq-veterans-face-slashed-in-unprovoked-attack/859118
A man stepped in to help a guy getting bashed last week and ended up in hospital with life threatening head injuries.
www.theage.com.au/victoria/man-injured-as-teenage-thugs-terrorise-train-passengers-20100605-xlxu.html
Two men stepped in to help a woman and one was killed and the other badly injured.
In the past I have used my height and general ugliness to act as a calming force on the train. I realised I was pushing my luck and it only takes some nutter to call the bluff and you're ****ed.
It's a fantasy to think that if people stand up to these cowards that they will back down. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they won't. With the knife culture that has grown up recently the chances are they won't.
I drive or cycle to work. It's much more comfortable and much safer.
Select to expand quoteSmedg said...
[PS seems to me that the wisest decision in this situation was made by the mental health professionals with 40 years combined experience.
heat of the moment isn't an ideal time to set someone straight,
. Your morals and beliefs tell you what the guy is doing is wrong, and its likely that you are really 'standing up' for these beliefs. So standing up to the guy may end in you having to become involved in violence which to most people is worse than verbal abuse. Best way to stand up for your beliefs imo is to model them, not try impose them on others. "
Fair point Smedge
There seems to be a consistent assertion that the situation may have escalated to violence and or there was a heated exchange - hardly from my point, i was holding on to 2 kids and i am used to robust exchanges without malice - but I acknowledge old mates brain may not have sen the situation the same way
It seems the consistent motivator is fear - sorry guys that makes me sad
)
Haven't had fisticuffs in 20 yrs but i am not one to remain silent either.
Having said that I wish i was smarter and could button my lip (sometimes) when I see something bad going down.
Over the years I have stepped in a fair few times. To this date i haven't copped a hiding and I put that down to being able to talk fast, calm (some) people down and a whole lotta LUCK.
Felt like I had to intervene at a public play/waterworks feature in Northbridge a couple of months ago. A not-full-quid derro showed up and was being a unit. No harm to anyone whatsoever, but pretty out of it and amazed/amused at the water sculpture.
From a short distance I noticed two of a group of 5 late teens/early 20s dudes scoping him out for some time and obviously about to pull a trick on him. Got to them just as they moved in on him after filling their mouths with water and one foot away from the poor derro (who let's remember was harming no-one) about to let him have it. "If you are about to do what I think you are then you are kn pathetic." I said to the nearest dweeb giving him the nearest thing I could muster to a 'don't fk with me look' (probably looked constipated in truth). His eyes went wide, they downed the water and left the bloke alone. Packed up their stuff and beat a hasty exit.
Good result? Yeh...
Chances of going pear shaped with me copping a flogging from 5 orsholls? High.
My kids and my nephew, neice and mum-in-law in harms way also. Not smart. Selfish of me in fact.. in hindsight.
Probably would do the same again today, just can't help myself when I see someone defenceless but it's a fkd world out there at times and life is cheap.
These days in the sort of cases like the Gozzy pizza bloke you are probably best to whip out the video phone, get shots of the offenders, call the cops and let the attackers know they have been filmed and the cops are on the way. One bloke being potentially killed senslessly, may not be as bad as 2 cashing it in?
Easier said than done.
The nutters alway seem to pick me out of a crowd and generally Ive got nuthing.
I hate to argue (unless its here) and it seems that when I am picked on my mind is not with whats going on around me then I have to deal with some nutter that I dont even know.
Bloody happened at a meeting I was at happily chatting away about club events ect then sum drunk prick comes in and starts having a go at me, not the rest of the guys sitting there just me! 
The more I ignored him the worse it got.
I just got walked out side he followed me then I turned around went back in and locked the door. I had nothing verbal to give back to him and didnt want speak anyway, I hate that sh!t!!!!
Yep - know the feeling only too well Doggie. Had the same up until my mid 20s almost everywhere I went.
When the f_ck did this guy become "mentally ill"? These threads lose track pretty quick when a few careless statements are thrown in. Am I mentally ill for swearing? Fook, 1/2 of Brisbane is mentally ill if they follow the Lions and watched Saturday nights game.
Ben555, points for standing up for yourself, your bride and your kids.
Scene 1:
Kid, geeky looking getting it full frontal on a packed Camberwell Train out to Eastern Suburbs of Melbourne... just getting picked by 5 guys (swearing physical pushing, you name it). We stay quiet (me, a mate and 3 chicks).
Train pulls into station and he's dragged of the train. Everyone just sits stunned. We're off the train and into it down the platform, tell the train guard to call the police... what's he do? F_cks off. C_nt.
Train pulls out and we're now standing on a platform with a kid in tears, 5 guys looking for some action, and 2 guys who ended up there because of "instinct". We were lucky, didn't wait for it to escalate, took out two knees and put two guys onto the tracks. 1.5 metre drop will make you rethink getting up on the platform again. We fecken legged it up the platform and got the kid in a cab home.
Only time I have had to use violence.
Scene 2
This guy is going spare (just running, and staying he needs a f_cken cab) at a taxi rank. Trying to jump lines, trying to get a cab. Ends up getting snotted by someone and having a couple of guys sit on his chest.
Should I step in? Why? the situation is under control isn't it? No, it f_cking isn't.
The guy is in tears going redder and redder. We get these guy off him and drag him up out of the way. He wants a cab because he has to get home. Something about his daughter. Just rambling saying he's got to get home. We get his wallet and give him our cab 10 minutes later. Made sure he was OK to travel and explained it to the cabbie. Amex and Diners in his wallet says he's OK. My business card in his top pocket.
4 days later flowers and a thank you from his wife. Turns out the 6 yo had a fit and cracked just behind her ear on a set of drawers. Ambo, hospital, the whole box of tricks.
I'm 6' 4" and 110kg fighting weight. That alone has attracted some unwanted attention over the years. My kids both do Tae Kwon Do (6 and 4) purely because I think it is the best "defence" martial art there is. I have a military background and leaves me in alright stead, but I have only thrown one punch in 12 years. Every other confrontation was handled with calm words and a steady presence.
Yeah the media reports everything that goes wrong because it makes good news. I still believe there are enough "men" in the world to stand up and make a difference.
Stay safe all,
LT..
I agree with most of you but that does'nt mean that you have to tolerate it.
There is such thing as having a conversation without being a reaction!!
Usually you will find that as soon as you speak into and from thier point of view , you then have an opening to converse on the "same side" . Saying that , it does not mean that you have to accept thier point of view , just see it.
Doing nothing or putting up with doesnt cause anything positive , it mearly sustains what is going on.
What if you went to the train office and asked a manager or someone else if the train was really leaving now???? You could also report this guys behavior and request for him to be more professional???
Where there's a will , there's a way
Ive gotta agree with Mark on this although sometimes (maybe a lot) discretion is the smarter option.
But when you just see complete wankers bullying people sometimes it just happens, stepping in I mean.
Couple of years ago I was walking to the local shops and watched as a couple of your garden variety arse crack showing, pants around their knees and cap on sideways tough teenage peanuts walked diagonally across a roundabout as an older couple cautiously approached in their car. Obviously intimidated they slowed and smartly waited until the heroes finished their crossing. Sensing they had the upper hand the ringleader started lobbing twisties onto the bonnet and windscreen of the elderly couples car. Stupid me saw red!!!!
I strode across the road and just kicked this creep fair up the arse. This was what we copped as kids from cops etc if you did the wrong thing. It worked on us let me tell you!!
The look of shock, outrage and sheer incomprehension on this dickheads face was worth it. As most bullies go he didnt know what to do. I just stood there and waited for his mates to do something. Nothing except a lot of mumbling.
Still pissed off I asked if anyone wanted to say anything as I told them they were real tough for picking on a very scared old couple. No 1 hero (who was still holding his backside) said he would get his old man. Stupid me told him to not let fear hold him back. In the end they skulked off, the old couple thanked me and drove off.
When I got back to the footpath I realised there were probably about 10 people just looking at me in either confusion or "what were you doing?" I realised how stupid I had been. These days who knows what these idiots will do especially in a pack mentality!!
But sometimes you just have to do the right thing even if its not smart after the fact!!
no one in Brissie is mentally ill - they just lost to a better side on the night
why don't other people step up? Is the obvious answer because old mate could just have just as easily come at you with a knife or a blood filled syringe. or he could have beat the **** out of you?
good on you though. id like to think i would do the same.
As a frequenter of public transport, you who are will know what I mean, it is a complete pantomime where ugly behaviour is best seen.
I saw a hats off performance by bloke on a train handling a really ugly situation. The carriage was full with quite a few school kids and a smattering of adults. The cretin was swearing agressively at a kid when the hero asked him to stop. The idiot immediately started shouting at the guy.
The bloke stood up and addressed the whole carriage quite loudly and affirmatively but very politely and asked if anyone found the behaviour offensive. The response was brilliant and the situation vaporised.
I wish it had been me. I am looking forward to giving it a go
Got half an opportunity when a delinquent delayed the ferry by twnty minutes when a north easter was blowing and I was on the way home. I spoke up as first supporter. Trouble is you never know what low life may be carrying a knife or just looking to get back to his mates inside.
The agressors target some people over others.
www.protectivestrategies.com/victim-selection.html
Cut and pasted From the website:
"The Grayson/Stein Study
In 1984 two researchers, Betty Grayson and Morris I. Stein, conducted a study to determine the selection criteria applied by predators when selecting their victims. They videotaped several pedestrians on a busy New York City sidewalk without their knowledge.
They later showed the tape to convicts who were incarcerated for violent offenses (rape, murder, robbery, etc.) They instructed them to identify people on the tape who would make easy or desirable victims. The results were interesting.
Within seven seconds, the participants made their selections. What baffled researchers was the consistency of the people that were selected as victims. The criteria were not readily apparent. Some small, slightly built women were passed over. Some large men were selected. The selection was not dependant on race, age, size or gender.
Even the convicts didn't know exactly why they selected as they did. Some people just looked like easy targets. It appears that much of the predator/prey selection process is unconscious from the perspective of both predator and the potential victim."
"It appears that much of the predator/prey selection process is unconscious from the perspective of both predator and the potential victim."
That sounds fair...but I recon..it is different if the assailant is male of female.
Situation * Manly ferry mid evening , Elderly gent travelling with his wife ,
Passenger on board sitting near aforementioned elderly couple with his companion ,
Elderly gent takes exception to much younger fitter passenger using swear language , asks him to tone it down
Much younger fittter passenger takes it as an offence and goes about beating the much older gent into a pulp and punched him down a flight of stairs , No fuss crew of 3 alerted to the assault taking place onboard and overcome and restrain the guy until the vessel can be berthed and police arrive approx 15 mins . First aid is given to the now comatose older gent and he is comforted until being collected by ambulance and taken to hospital for treatment ,
Much younger fitter other passenger is charged and bailed to appear in court , in sentencing the Honourable judge takes into consideration the fact that the offender was in fact a successful amatuer BOXER had there not been a group on board to step up for the elderly gent in this case the ferry crew , then the BOXER may have been tried for murder
Recent history of trained fighters taking on weaker vulnerable people is full of examples , who remembers David hookes for 1 , tried to talk through a sensitive situation , You cannot predict what may be the outcome be careful which way you turn 
There wont always be someone on hand to step up for you
