Caption Comp106

cats diary, day 107.

"i swapped my fiddle with that expressionless fool the dish, for the spoon he had recently run away with.

i think i will be having fun for some time."

"when I say we will find weapons of mouse destruction I mean............
" --George W. Bush, on Iraqi weapons of mass destruction, Washington, D.C. , April 13, 2004

This is not what I had in mind when she said spooning.

Ok, who put the fireworks up the mouse's arse this time?

The Rats of Tobruk.

Rats were a constant problem in the trenches.
It was a stroke of brilliance to call in the AIF (Australian Infantry Felines).
The felines didn't eat the rats, they catapulted* the unfortunate rodents from the allied trenches into the trenches of the axis forces, where the rats ate the supplies and were a constant annoyance, even preventing sleep by nibbling any exposed and undefended extremities. Thus the Rats of Tobruk caused the axis forces to retreat and won the battle for the allies.

* ever wondered about the origin of the word CATapult?

a bic lighter provides amusement for all.

Little known facts in history #2 - The making of Mary Poppins.

Even with Julie Andrew's beautiful melodies, the song had to be changed post production after poor reviews with test audiences...

In ev'ry job that must be done
There is an element of fun
you find the fun and snap!
The job's a game

Nad ev'ry task you undertake
Becomes a piece of cake
A lark! Aspree!
It's very clear to me

That a...
Spoonful of RAT helps the medicine go down
The medicine go down-wown
The medicine go down
Just a spoonful of RAT helps the medicine go down
In a most delightful way

A robin feathering his nest
Has very little time to rest
While gathering his
Bits of twine and twig

Though quite intent in his pursuit
He has a merry tune to toot
He knows a song
Will move the job along

For a...
Spoonful of RAT helps the medicine go down
The medicine go down-wown
The medicine go down
Just a spoonful of RAT helps the medicine go down
In a most delightful way

Ratatouille

Ingredients (serves 4)

* 1 comestible rat
* 1 playful kitty
* 4 tomatoes
* 3 tbs olive oil
* 1 large onion, chopped
* 1 red capsicum, diced
* 1 yellow capsicum, diced
* 1 eggplant, diced
* 1 tbs tomato puree
* 1/2 tbs chopped fresh thyme
* 2 tbs torn fresh basil leaves
* 2 garlic cloves, crushed

Method
1. Starve cat for three days.
2. Score a cross in the base of each tomato and plunge into a bowl of boiling water for 20 seconds.
3. Toss rat.
4. Peel the skin from the tomatoes and discard. Chop the tomato flesh into medium dice.
5. Toss rat.
6. Heat the oil in a frying pan over medium heat and add the onion. Cook for 2-3 minutes then add the capsicum and cook for a further 5 minutes.
7. Keep tossing rat.
8. Transfer the onion and capsicum to a plate and set aside. Add the eggplant to the pan and cook over medium heat for 5-6 minutes.
9. Dont forget to toss the rat.
10. Return the onion and capsicum to the pan and stir in tomato puree. Add thyme and tomatoes. Reduce heat to low, cover and cook for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally while tossing rat.
11. Stir in the basil and garlic. Serve warm either on its own or with roast meat or fish.
12. Put the rat down and video it walking in circles.
13. Release the cat.
14. Publish on Funniest Home Videos


Notes & tips

*

Taste.com.au has everything you need for Christmas including Christmas gift ideas like truffles and rum balls, Christmas menu plans and handy video how to tips.
Next recipe - what to do with castrated rums.

Source.
delicious. - November 2001, Page 44
Recipe by Valli Little (et al)

Don't mean to highjack but Al reminded me of the master of Spoonerisms - Ronnie Barker...

This was originally shown on on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes).
Irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must have been too much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read ...



This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying pos pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.

The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks

The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.

At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking
frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.

The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.

Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.

He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.

Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny.

This had followed the successful Animal Infiltration Formation that operated covertly during WW1. Highly intelligent feline recruits operated undercover behind enemy lines risking life and paw getting communications back to HQ.

This photo of key operative, Mata Hairy, shows the use of Mouse Code, a combination of Morse Code and Semaphore that was the only means of communication on these dangerous missions.

"crumbs, chief"

Well that recieved many amusing and different replies, much more than I thought it would, Busterwa is an outstanding artist and I thought he had it early in the peace but I'm going with the more traditional straight out cleverness of a caption that stands alone.

when I say we will find weapons of mouse destruction I mean............
" --George W. Bush, on Iraqi weapons of mass destruction, Washington, D.C. , April 13, 2004
Al Planet well done your up.