Poke the end of fishing rod into you eye socket while riding a motorbike through the bush.
(did it as a teenager)
Jumping out of a Boat only to realize my wedding ring got caught on a rivet,
nearly ripped my finger off, screamed like a baby...
Go in for a sliding tackle at soccer, dig your foot in the grass, bend your toes back so they touch your calf........ligaments
Go over the falls onto surgeon's table at margy's....once was enough
No stiches but damn it hurt...i've seen others that weren't so lucky...
dislocate your shoulder while jumping swell way out the back, also knowing you have to put it back in so you can sail back in...
windsurfing: a big day at my local break, about 3/4 mast, dropped down the face of a wave, the wave sucked the reef dry in front of me, i'm talking a foot out the water, hit it full speed and tried to land on my feet on the rocks, my foot went in a hole in the rocks and snapped almost in half, 2 broken toes inside my foot.
Not Windsurfing: fell from the platform of a 6 foot halfpipe backwards, first landed on the coping with my tail bone then flipped onto the flat bottom head first with my bike on top of me, then fell off the side of the ramp and smashed my head against a pole, results: put 7 disc's in my back out. ouch..
but these are only a few of a long list of injuries.
Getting speartackled into wooden floorboards by someone that weights 30kg more then you and is in a drunken crazy state. Blackout and collarbone snap
having a pint glass rammed into your face. 3 layers of stitches, touched my own skull with my finger. then, three or four days later, bent down to pick up a steel billet at work and bumped heads with a guy who was bending down to pick up the same billet. fudge me dead it 'urt.
Lying under a car, using angle grinder to cut off a nut from a bolt thru the floor. Red hot nut drops into the guard (the grinder is upside down remember)and flies out when the blade flicks it out.... bounces off a crossmember and the red hot nut inserts itself ALL the way up my nose.
Try to pull the f*^* B*^% of a thing out with needle nose pliers with head under a running tap and blood, snot and sh!t running out my nostril.
Hurts.
Having back surgery.
75mm long plate screwed onto my spine with 50mm tek screws and then spending the next 8weeks flat on my back. thank god for pethadine
windsurfing: slamming into a sand bank, back foot getting caught and breaking my ankle, big ouch.
Non windsurfing- biggest ouch - childbirth x2
Classic.
Getting dragged behind a boat like a lure, with a long valve from a truck tube stuck in my arm, and my mate's p*ssing themselves laughing not knowing what's going on.
Finally getting them to stop so I could get the valve out, only to watch my blood shoot out like a fountain from cut artery, in the middle of a dam.
No pain after that, but had to get to a phone, wait for ambulance, then over an hour trip to hospital for emergency surgery.
Also a head on car accident with a drunk driver when 19, still get pain in my ankle at 53, hope he dies a painful death one day. DON'T DRINK & DRIVE !
Also had jaw broken & dislocated from another drunk in front of home, head cracked open going over rapids, plurasy last year (worst pain ever by far) etc etc
Skiing down Mt Titlis in Switzerland on a glacier black run at speed.
Put the stock down a survey hole, fell on my hand broke all the metacarpals and was left hanging from my busted hand caught in the stock strap.
Stock strap caught around broken bones on the back of my hand.
Took me 35 minutes to get far enough back up the slope to get my hand out.
The real pain was the Swiss Dr's bill.
But I think Marks wins hands down 
Thatnks for all the laughter you w^nkers .... my mates were laughing and calling me puff the magic dragon.
Intense pain is OK (just) until you cannot remove the pain causing object!!!
PS apparently they could see the glow thru my nose.....
Having a vasectomy without getting knocked out. They use hockey sticks for the keyhole surgery, get the tubes out smoke and shocks when they weld them shut ,earth strap the on foot. I know they were attached to my heart cos it hurt.
Coblers are bars***ds .
kid brother loosens quick release on the front wheel of my bike, as a joke
Unaware of the above...i ride bike at full speed and do a small jump off curb...
for a fraction of a second i see front wheel fly off then proceed to catapult and faceplant into the road, with feet still securley attached into pedals...
thanks bro
Stepped of the board straight legged full weight on cobbler.
Hit in the face with a surf board, dislocated jaw, teeth were close to 2" out of alignment, had to paddle back out of the impact zone and crunch it back into place.
Head on collision with a drunk driver in 1985, had a stuffed neck ever since.
Duck dived under a 8 ft cleanup set old cobbles, dived deep, kicked hard popped up eventually at the back of the wave started paddling only to get sucked over the falls, held onto the board that hard I left 8 finger marks in the bottom of the board, put everything out in my back from stem to stern.
Living with migraines and 3 day headaches.
